Dr. Lorie’s Top 10 of 2015

As I think back upon 2015 and look ahead to 2016,

  1. What I am most grateful for:

My health. Working in long-term care and rehabilitation, I see first hand the effects of smoking, drugs, and lack of movement/exercise on the body.

  1. Whom I am most grateful for:

My husband and son. My husband has been putting up with working out of town for 75% of this year. I’m blown away by his sense of responsibility to his family. My son has surprisingly risen to the occasion and taken care of things like cleaning out the gutters, shoveling snow without being asked, etc.

  1. The most fun thing I did:

Going fishing for the first time since I can remember. We caught catfish and cooked them up that evening. (I actually didn’t do any of the food prep).

  1. The celebration to remember:

My dad’s 80th birthday party.

photo for blog Dec 2015

  1. The worst story in the news:

The killings in France.

  1. One thing that I can do next year to help heal the world:

Teach the CalmUp® Journey to a greater number of veterans.

  1. What I will miss next year:
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Black Friday

 

 

calmup logo

Are you experiencing general life stress?

Are you unfulfilled in your work or relationships?

Are you living the life you’ve imagined?

What would be different if only you could awaken energized each day to address your financial goals, relationship issues, or whatever life dreams you wish to accomplish?

Here’s what’s Possible for you:

  • What you’ll discover will help transform you into the person you aspire to be—for yourself, for others, for the world!
  • You’ll learn a simple sequence to assist you to get your head on straight. Every. Single. Day.
  • You’ll experience the complete 7-Level sequence to generate more money, a better love life, or whatever objectives you set for yourself. Some of my clients find that their day improves after doing just Level One!

moon

 

Black Friday Sale for the Months of

November and December

50% OFF ALL TRAINING PROGRAMS!!!

With Added Bonus–See #5 Below

Question #1:  You’ve never had a sale before—why now?

Answer:  In 2016, I’ll be putting time into working with my new niche (More about that in the December Wellspring Guideposts). This sale allows me to thank my loyal subscribers.

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When the Unfathomable Happens

 

Denial—Everything’s fine. This isn’t really happening.

Numbness—There’s no feeling, no hunger.

Disbelief—Acceptance is not an option.

Rage—

 

Prayers are offered.

 

Wide-awake in the dead of night.

Unbearable sadness.

Indescribable pain.

Emptiness.

 

The sun comes up without your consent.

 

photo for blog Nov 2015

 

It’s About You:

  1. Have you experienced the unfathomable? Can you remember having experienced this level of pain? How did you move through it?
  2. Breathe into the pain of the present moment, and visualize yourself coming out the darkness.
  3. The CalmUp® Journey teaches that we need to acknowledge all parts of the process in order for us to heal. What specific parts of the process have been difficult?

Take Action:

If you found this poem meaningful, feel free to check out my poem on Rage from March 2013. Also, I’m introducing the lowest priced training that CalmUp® has ever offered. It is called Overcoming Obstacles™ and can be found at this link. http://drloriegose.com/peacebuilding-202/

Author: Dr. Lorie Gose

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Betrayed

Setting the Scene A:  Your only remaining parent has just passed away. You’d like to grieve in whatever manner seems fitting for you. Truth be told, grief is not in the forefront of your mind. Instead, you’re consumed by anger, hurt, and disbelief—your sibling has attempted to steal your part of the inheritance.

photo for Betrayed

Setting the Scene B:  Your only remaining parent is in ill health. You’d like to continue to be present as a loving caregiver.  This is a role you’ve held as the youngest child for some time. Sadly, it is difficult to be present when you’re consumed by outrage, betrayal, and numbness—your sibling has convinced your parent that the totality of the inheritance must be handed down to the eldest child.

Cast of Characters:  These two scenes are not fiction. The sequence of events recently happened to two of my friends within a one-week period. This betrayal occurring with two good friends at the same time seems uncanny.  The fact that two betrayals happened at the same time suggests that this is not randomness, bad luck, or karma. You’ve likely experienced this scenario in your own family.

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Too Late

CalmUp® presents Lionel FisherI recently heard from a member of our CalmUp® community, Lionel Fisher. He shared about his health condition and not having much time left to live. Similar to the genuine conversations shared during his March and April 2013 interviews (Click here for Noteworthy Stories), this conversation was very real.

Lionel remarked that being near death made him realize what a “self-absorbed asshole” he had been and how he lost friends over the most stupid reasons. Needless to say, he doesn’t have the corner on stupid behavior.

“Lionel,” I said, “We’re all self-absorbed assholes. We’ve all done what you’re describing.”

While currently on hospice, Lionel is having important conversations. He discovered that the two most important words are too late. For instance, we say or do hurtful things and then it becomes

  • Too late to make amends
  • Too late to enjoy one another’s company
  • Too late to speak from the heart

I feel thankful that my dad introduced me to Lionel. Along with his genuineness, another trait I admire about Lionel is his ability to be keenly insightful. At 82-years-old, his wisdom transcends protocol, trends, and social mores.

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Can You Top This?

I’m not sure how our rival cook off began. Well, yes I remember the look on his face…

I made this delectable spanakopita served with gyros meat and a Greek salad. The filo dough was working out splendidly, so I baked my scrumptious chocolate chip baklava for dessert.

When our friend took his first bite, he looked up at me with a wimpering sound. The look on his face was memorable—that was the moment. “Now,” he exclaimed, “I’ll have to bake my grandmother’s pie. Would you prefer chocolate cream or banana coconut?”

pie

I recount this story, because it is symbolic of the CalmUp® intention of sharing:

Understanding spirituality as sharing, as serving others, allows for commonality not only across religions, but also across cultures, nations, neighborhoods, families, and individuals.

Lucky me, I didn’t have to choose. In an ultimate gesture of sharing, our friend ended up baking both pies. The chocolate cream was to die for, and the banana coconut was memorable.

When we share from the heart, energy is set in motion.

He made Beef Wellington for dinner!

He made Beef Wellington for dinner!

IT’S ABOUT YOU:

  1. Where could honoring this commonality take you today?
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Transforming Struggle

CalmUp® photo of dead flowersHow often have you set a goal that you didn’t achieve? It could be a major desire like getting a promotion or a minor hope like clearing your inbox daily. Yet no matter how much time and effort you put in, the outcome remains the same… no promotion and an overflowing inbox.

As a psychologist for over 20 years, I’ve heard countless stories about people being unhappy with their current life situation. Many people—including those who aren’t in counseling—have at least one desire they’re struggling to attain. What’s yours? Seriously, stop a moment and think about it.

We believe that the inability to accomplish a goal is a failure. We blame ourselves, or sometimes others, for our lack of success. What if we didn’t define success by our accomplishments, such as getting into the college of your choice, being chosen for the starring role, or having the fancy car, house, etc.?

The problem is the way that we define success, not the struggle itself.
I’ve wrestled with the following three ideas:

1. The Image: Mentally picture the outcome that you desire. Now imagine letting go of that outcome as you have defined it.

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Wanting What We Don’t Have—Part II

It’s early in the morning, and even the dogs are still asleep.

Even the Dogs are Asleep

Even the Dogs are Asleep

When I wrote Part I, I didn’t know there would be a Part II.

I’m excited to put my thoughts to paper and share more with you.

Today would be a great day to go on a fabulous Alaskan cruise, chill out at a comfortable beach house, or basically spend my time doing exactly what I want.

It’s fun to spell out what we want and to set goals. What happens when people can’t have what they want?

  • Because of loss of a loved one
  • Because of a serious health issue
  • Because of financial reasons

We cope.

We cope in a variety of ways, some of which are harmful.

Dr. Lorie serving Thanksgiving meals through the Salvation Army 2014

Dr. Lorie serving Thanksgiving meals through the Salvation Army 2014

One useful way to cope is to do unto others.

  • Helping someone else—perhaps by helping in a way that is relevant to what you want
  • Volunteering your time—even when you believe you don’t have any
  • Giving what you can—no matter how minor it may seem
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Wanting What We Don’t Have—Part I

It’s very late, and I can’t sleep.

Memorial Candle

Memorial Candle

I’ve spent hours today counseling others who are clinically depressed and anxious at a skilled nursing facility.

One man in his 90’s is in denial, believing he can still fly planes—and drive—and soon he expects to travel the country on his own in a new RV. He yells at his family, “Don’t tell me that I can’t!”

Another woman just wants to go home. “When can I go home?” Her home was sold many years ago.

I’m no different when it comes to wanting what I can’t have. Are you?

It hurts

  • When we can’t have what we want
  • When we can’t do the things we dream of doing
  • When we can’t be who we want to be

Yes, it hurts. And it’s exactly the hurt that we must embrace. There’s no simple way to move to the other side of pain without feeling it.

IT’S ABOUT YOU:

  1. What specifically do you want that you can’t have today? (e.g., a different career, relationship, lifestyle, etc.)
  2. How do you negatively cope with the hurt of not having what you want? (e.g., overeat, abuse drugs/alcohol, take your pain out on others, etc.)
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Let’s Talk About Love

QUESTION: When was the last time that you spoke about love, with the conversation going deeper than saying, “I love you”?

  1. This week
  2. This year
  3. Can’t remember

QUESTION: How significant is love as a priority in your life? (Consider different forms of love, including romantic, familial, platonic, etc.)

  1. Not important
  2. Important
  3. Super important

QUESTION: How much love are you sharing with your loved ones on any given day?

  1. Low
  2. Medium
  3. High

red rosesI’ve been rereading Thomas Moore’s bestselling book, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, and I was struck by this comment:

It is clear that love is never simple, that it brings with it struggles of the past and hopes for the future, and that it is loaded with material that may be remotely—if at all—connected to the person who is the apparent object of love.

Wow. After chewing on the latter part of that sentence, I summarized his statement as follows: We bring parts of ourselves to relationships that have nothing to do with your loved one.

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