How often have you set a goal that you didn’t achieve? It could be a major desire like getting a promotion or a minor hope like clearing your inbox daily. Yet no matter how much time and effort you put in, the outcome remains the same… no promotion and an overflowing inbox.
As a psychologist for over 20 years, I’ve heard countless stories about people being unhappy with their current life situation. Many people—including those who aren’t in counseling—have at least one desire they’re struggling to attain. What’s yours? Seriously, stop a moment and think about it.
We believe that the inability to accomplish a goal is a failure. We blame ourselves, or sometimes others, for our lack of success. What if we didn’t define success by our accomplishments, such as getting into the college of your choice, being chosen for the starring role, or having the fancy car, house, etc.?
The problem is the way that we define success, not the struggle itself.
I’ve wrestled with the following three ideas:
1. The Image: Mentally picture the outcome that you desire. Now imagine letting go of that outcome as you have defined it. Continue reading...
Sometimes life can feel all too much. Yet, remember the title of Hunter Hayes’ country song, I don’t want easy, I want crazy! Can life get too crazy?
The solution for my own life this past year became clear when I re-prioritized what I consider to be most important. Determining what to let go of or add to your life doesn’t have to be as difficult as you might imagine. You’re the only one who can ascertain what’s of value to you.
I’ve found that generating personal priorities helps to maintain a sense of clarity. Yet priorities can change. Remaining flexible to one’s convictions, while remembering what’s important to your loved ones, is necessary when you’re seeking a degree of sanity. You don’t have to accomplish everything all at once.
Notice I wrote a degree of sanity! Then there’s the title of the movie with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, Something’s Gotta Give. So for the present time, I’m writing a quarterly instead of a monthly blog, and letting go of those Monday Morning Moments™. I’m still available for walks and talks. Continue reading...
- How can I move softly during this very long day?
- How can I regain my energy and return to effortless effort?
- How can I notice when it starts to feel like effort?
These were a few of my recent personal “How can I…” questions. Have you been feeling exhausted recently? You’re not alone. I hear so many people commenting about how tired they feel.
It’s easy to join the crowd and respond in agreement with some comment like, “Me too, I’ve been going non-stop.” We’ve learned that draining our energy is a precursor to illness. Who wants to go down that road?
I recently shared in the June issue of Wellspring Guideposts that over functioning has been my modus operandi. What I experienced this past week, however, was above the norm! Fortunately, I took a CalmUp® Journey and awoke from the stupor. I quickly shifted directions and let go of a time-consuming project. It felt so good to regain my energy and focus. Continue reading...
Busy is one thing—living in triage-mode is another. Since launching CalmUp®, my to-do list has spawned a new batch of subheadings. My personal organization system started to look like the backside of a cross-stitch. By good fortune, I learned about the technology of creating more than one reminder list.
Does having five reminder lists (the grocery list makes six) seem unreasonable? One person I know has separate reminder lists for each of his college courses, his employment, his hobbies, etc. He even has a written reminder to brush his teeth!
How can I become more efficient?
Reminder lists allow me to determine what I want to work on instead of feeling anxious or stressed out.
On the CalmUp® Journey (see www.DrLorieGose.com), I pictured living my life like a war zone or an emergency room whereby I was triaging the most crucial tasks of the day. Talk about a dark image! If my self-care suffered, then oh well. And if the dishes were all over the counter, who cares? Continue reading...