What’s Your Goal?

Psychologists Heidi Grant Halvorson and colleagues found that when people create goals, there are two different classifications: (1) Be Good and (2) Get Better. I found it helpful in my own life to learn about this research, and I’d love to hear how it impacts you.

CalmUp® photo of geese heads under water

Heads Under Water

Those who fall into the Be Good classification focus on proving themselves, caring primarily about how they are perceived by others. For instance, they would go for the “A” because of their belief that getting the high grade would reflect on them as a person.

People who fall into the Get Better group focus more on improving themselves, and go for the “A” as a way to master the material. For those who fall into the Be Good category, their attention is on the outcome of the goal, whereas for those who fall into the Get Better category, their attention is on the journey itself.

CalmUp® photo of geese heads above water

Heads Above Water

The meaningful piece of this research is that people can change their pattern. For instance, whenever you find yourself attempting to Be Good, you might improve the quality of your life by shifting your intention to Getting Better. When you open to the usefulness for both goals, you’ll discover that success, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Build Your Dream

I live in a comfortable neighborhood surrounded by tree houses. My husband and son built the first tree house on the block, a German-style cottage, high above our front yard. Two neighbors followed suit—one included real glass windows, the second, a loft.

Recently, down the block, a family moved into a house that sat empty for more than 18 months. We were glad to notice the trimming of shrubs and clearing of overgrown weeds. Then, the hammering throughout the July 4th holiday signaled our neighbors’ plan to join the tree house alliance.

While walking my dogs, I complimented our new neighbor on what I assumed was the completed three-tiered project. “Oh no,” he exclaimed. “The tiers are just the landings to the tree house that has yet to be built!”

CalmUp® photo of tree house

What dream are you building?

•    How would you describe your dream succinctly a la elevator pitch?
•    What are the necessary steps to develop your dream to fruition?
•    What would it mean to you to have your dream fulfilled or potentially unfulfilled?

If you happen to read my most recent blog, What Would You Be Willing to Sacrifice? you’ll find that I almost gave up one important dream for another.

Do It Again

I had my day all planned out. I knew what I was going to accomplish. Even my attitude was decent, having reached a rating of “7” on the 1–10 scale of the CalmUp® Journey.

At the end of the day, I felt disappointed that I hadn’t accomplished even one of my three main goals I had set for myself. “Great,” I told myself, “I put all that energy into completing the CalmUp® Journey, and I got nowhere.”

Nowhere? Looking back at my day…

A.    I started the morning in the hot tub with my husband followed by breakfast with my family.  (Those two activities alone would bring most of us to a “10”!)
B.    Later after work, I took a nap with the doggies then got started on one of my projects. (Wow—a nap!)
C.    Then there was driving our son home from his after school activity and having dinner all together. (Having a family dinner ought to count for something!)
D.    After we watched our favorite TV show, I took some personal time for my writing. (If all else fails, blog!)

Create a New Beginning

Have you thought about your goals for 2012? Are you ready to create a new beginning? It’s easy to say, “I want to be happy” or “I want to earn more money.” So what and why? What does that mean? How would you know if you were any happier? How much money do you want to make? On what do you want to spend that extra money?

The message for this blog is simple: what do you want, and how are you going to make it happen? At CalmUp®, our vision is to promote inner peace and self-fulfillment so that you can have more energy, live a genuine life, and spread all that joy to those around you.  How can CalmUp® help to transform you into the person you aspire to be if you don’t know the direction in which you’re heading?

I’d like to introduce you to a wonderful program for defining and tracking your goals for the year. It’s called Culture Counts and was developed by Whitney Walpole, a professional leadership coach. I was introduced to Whitney’s program a couple years ago when I was working to get CalmUp® off the ground. I don’t know of any better program for defining and achieving what you want.