When the Unfathomable Happens


Denial—Everything’s fine. This isn’t really happening.

Numbness—There’s no feeling, no hunger.

Disbelief—Acceptance is not an option.



Prayers are offered.


Wide-awake in the dead of night.

Unbearable sadness.

Indescribable pain.



The sun comes up without your consent.


photo for blog Nov 2015


It’s About You:

  1. Have you experienced the unfathomable? Can you remember having experienced this level of pain? How did you move through it?
  2. Breathe into the pain of the present moment, and visualize yourself coming out the darkness.
  3. The CalmUp® Journey teaches that we need to acknowledge all parts of the process in order for us to heal. What specific parts of the process have been difficult?

Take Action:

If you found this poem meaningful, feel free to check out my poem on Rage from March 2013. Also, I’m introducing the lowest priced training that CalmUp® has ever offered. It is called Overcoming Obstacles™ and can be found at this link. http://drloriegose.com/peacebuilding-202/

Wanting What We Don’t Have—Part I

It’s very late, and I can’t sleep.

Memorial Candle

Memorial Candle

I’ve spent hours today counseling others who are clinically depressed and anxious at a skilled nursing facility.

One man in his 90’s is in denial, believing he can still fly planes—and drive—and soon he expects to travel the country on his own in a new RV. He yells at his family, “Don’t tell me that I can’t!”

Another woman just wants to go home. “When can I go home?” Her home was sold many years ago.

I’m no different when it comes to wanting what I can’t have. Are you?

It hurts

  • When we can’t have what we want
  • When we can’t do the things we dream of doing
  • When we can’t be who we want to be

Yes, it hurts. And it’s exactly the hurt that we must embrace. There’s no simple way to move to the other side of pain without feeling it.


  1. What specifically do you want that you can’t have today? (e.g., a different career, relationship, lifestyle, etc.)
  2. How do you negatively cope with the hurt of not having what you want? (e.g., overeat, abuse drugs/alcohol, take your pain out on others, etc.)

Overcoming Fear: Seven Tips You Can Use Today

In less than 30 minutes, can you fathom moving from feeling scared, nervous, overwhelmed, and stressed to feeling calm, peaceful, joyful, and trusting? Not all fear is the same. Fear can be debilitating and immobilizing. Fear can also prompt us into necessary action. In this blog I’m referring to irrational fear.

  • How can I let go of my fear?
  • How can I open to love?
  • How can I have more faith?

I remember imagining our baby being born with all of our family’s worst physical traits. When I held him for the first time, I was struck that I had completely forgotten about beauty. Our son is now a teenager, and I’m still in awe by his splendor. Why did I ever put energy into fear? Oh yes, soon he’ll be driving…

Feeling unwarranted fear is like being under a spell with no magic wand. The following seven tips for overcoming irrational fear are not magic, yet they work like a magic wand. If you’re feeling fearful, experiment with one or more of these tips, and you may be surprised at how quickly you may feel better.

  1. Breathe through your fear. Allow for your fearful feeling. Become fully present to the emotion.

Feeling Anxious and Wanna Shake It?

You complete your CalmUp® Journey, and your rating of peace and joy doubles from a “4” to an “8” on the 1–10 scale. Then on your way to the office, someone dangerously cuts you off in traffic, and your morning is now anything but calm. Your car is fine, and you’re fine. You just can’t shake the anxiety that seems to have taken hold of you.

What do you do? You have to get to work, and you don’t want to go in carrying the morning’s tension. No matter how much you tell yourself to stop being ridiculous, darker thoughts keep creeping in:

  • That bleep driver!
  • What if I’d have been hit?
  • So much for moving up to an “8.” Now I’m more like a “2.”
  • What if something were to happen to me, and I’m not there for my family?”
  • I’m so mad!

It’s strange how your day can change in an instant. A careless driver is just one example of the type of occurrence that has the power to shift your mood from radiant to fatalistic. Even simple events can become upsetting or disrupting, like a clothing tear or a spill, a bad hair day or a blemish, something that gets broken or destroyed. More serious events can leave you feeling anxious or heartbroken, such as the death of a loved one, learning of a terminal illness, or an unexpected disaster.