How strange that I haven’t been able to work on my blog all week, and now I’m awake at dawn on a Saturday, completely motivated to write. Saturday is my day off from doing business, yet I listen to my inner voice, get out of bed, and grab my laptop.
There’s enough morning light through the sunroom window where I sit on the floor. Nick and Nora, the dogs, join me from the other, then exit through the dog door. Perhaps retreating from the windstorm, they soon return and snuggle up next to me.
Out the window, the trees almost tumble as they dance. This has been a turbulent week for the printing of the CalmUp® books. When I walked into work yesterday, and a nurse innocently said, “Good morning. How are you?” I realized I wasn’t ready to face my residents. I left work to have my second cry of the day, and it was only 8:00 A.M.
Outside, the trees are taking an intermission or their final bow. The sun has risen to its fullness in the East, and I’m grateful for the calm. Last night, I told Dave, my husband, that the last time I had a week like this was when my mom had a heart attack, and I wasn’t able to be at her bedside in India.
“How do I convey the birthing of CalmUp®?” Perhaps I just did. The tears. The labor pains. And the joy of anticipation, sidelined by this week’s contractions.
Nicky’s staring at me as if to say, “The sun’s up—let’s go!” What happened to sleeping in on my day off? I throw on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Autumn’s in the air this morning.
The rooster crows as the dogs and I walk past our friends’ farmhouse. We say/sniff good morning to Bob the dog, madly wagging his tail. The mums are blooming yellow and pink.
Everything is alive around me, and I haven’t noticed it all week. Hmmm, my last CalmUp® Journey was five days ago. I think I’ll take a bath when we get home.
Alone in the tub, I wonder if my publishing challenges have illuminated my deep-seated fear that I’m incapable of teaching this material publicly. How can I go out into the world and teach the CalmUp® Journey when the publishing process has turned me into anything but calm? Wow, there’s a “How can I…” question to explore. I’ll begin that CalmUp® Journey before bed and complete it in the morning.
IT’S ABOUT YOU:
- What activities do you engage in to get in touch with your inner self?
- Recall the last time you had a “good cry.” What fears did it reveal?
- What “How can I…” question might you explore for yourself today?
Author: Dr. Lorie Gose