Gratitude – A Wholeness Approach

I was Skyping with my mom the other night. Actually, for her in India, it was morning. You know, I’m 50-years-old yet the lessons keep coming. Somehow, she and I got into a philosophical conversation, and my mother said, “It’s important to be grateful not only for the ‘good’ things that happen in our lives, but for the ‘bad’ occurrences too.”

Dark and Light CloudsI grokked that what I was hearing is an important Truth. For instance, in CalmUp® Journey: Your Daily Ascending Tool for Better Days, I teach that, “We need all parts of ourselves to create our wholeness.” In fact, this statement is written on the CalmUp® Journey map itself. When we accept that the darkness in our lives is not about “bad,” and the lightness is not about “good,” then it makes sense to open to gratitude for everything—that’s the wholeness approach.

I’ve been thinking about what my mom said all week. Although my head gets it, my heart is having a tough time. As I sit with an elderly woman with dementia who had her home stolen from her and as I scrutinize some of my own life experiences, how is one to be grateful? Night/Day. Dark/Light. How is it that a person’s tragedy can also be a blessing? Fortunately, I don’t need to figure it all out on my own.


  1. Do you agree, disagree, or choose to remain neutral on the notion of being grateful for both the “good” and the “bad.” Why?
  2. Thinking about the worst thing that has ever happened to you, is there any part of you that now feels grateful? Explain.
  3. Consider finding gratitude for the “bad” stuff this week, and let us know how it goes.

Author: Dr. Lorie Gose

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  • Susan Messina

    Thank you for writing this blog. I completely agree with the notion of finding gratitude for the “bad” that happens to us. I was recently a passenger on a motorcycle and was involved in a terrible accident. I was badly injured and temporarily unable to walk. But I was very grateful to be alive. During the days that followed, the pain of my injuries and the resulting lack of independence and mobility could have easily overshadowed any gratitude I might have felt. Yet, as bad as the accident was, it allowed for learning, growth, and insight. For instance, my oldest daughter, age 20, learned what a responsible and loving caretaker she could be as she became my arms and legs and never left my side. It taught me to listen more closely to my intuition (I didn’t really want to go on that motorcycle ride because I consider them too dangerous, but did so for my friend.) And, after witnessing what I went through, I doubt I will have to give too many lectures to my teenage children to stay off motorcycles! Yes, be grateful for the ‘bad.’ I am.

    • Dr. Lorie Gose

      Susan, thank you so much for taking part in our community and sharing how you found the gratitude in your accident. I’m grateful you are well! Love, Lorie